From the category archives:

change

Turn, Turn, Turn … or Not: What I Learned at Six Months

October 2, 2009

“Yep,” Mike confirmed the other day.  “Lily’s acting like a normal baby.”
He said this after our first sunny fall day in the park.  After Lily and I arrived with her pouting in her stroller because I decided that much as she was demanding it I was simply not up to the task of walking to [...]

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Not Everything Is Easier the Second Time Around

September 15, 2009

It is more than likely that I will spend pretty much the rest of my life debating whether Lily is such a patient, generous soul because I was in yoga practicing vasisthasana right up to the day before she was born or because, as the second child, she is doomed to my “been there, done [...]

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Sometimes You’ve Just Gotta Cry (Especially at Four O’Clock in the Morning)

September 3, 2009

There are times — many, many times in the life of a mother of two children under three — when you know that whatever it is that is making you cry is a normal part of parenthood.  The incident that has driven you to tears of despair is, you could easily tell yourself, a positive [...]

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Everything Grows Faster in the Summer

September 1, 2009

I have acquired yet another in the growing number of items on my list of Things I Know Better Than to Do But Do Anyhow.
I have just finished sorting through Jake and Lily’s outgrown clothes, putting them away in anticipation of the spring kids’ rummage sale at the Jewish Community Center to which I will [...]

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Are We There Yet? (Part Two: Preschool Version)

August 18, 2009

Today was the end-of-the-school year potluck in Jake’s preschool class.  Same summer-ish excitement that I recall from the end of my somewhat-older-than-two-and-a-half-years-old school years.  Same excuse to eat ice cream instead of lunch.  Same sense of happy displacement at having parents on the playground in the middle of the day.
Plus, as a mother, a little [...]

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I Want to Go to Shabbat

June 26, 2009

Shabbat starts in ten minutes.
In ten minutes, Jake will sing and dance.  He will yell, “Shabbat, shalom, hey!”  He will smile and mug and everyone there will tell me what fun he has in Shabbat.  He may even sit in another parent’s lap with one of his friends.
He will not sit in my lap because [...]

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Full of Firsts — And Not a Parent in Sight

June 18, 2009

I thought — mistakenly, as it turned out — that it was pretty momentous to be witnessing Lily’s first props-assisted rollover yesterday.
We were about midway through our hour-long drop-off at daycare.  I was pretending not to notice the time I was supposed to be using for myself slipping away as I clung to my girl.  [...]

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Sharks and Bunnies: A Potty Primer

June 16, 2009

It’s been a big week for growing up in the Jake-and-Lily household. And, not surprisingly, I have mixed feelings about it.
First, Lily received glowing reviews of her first afternoon in daycare yesterday and spent last night and this morning grinning and babbling at me.  Plainly, she approves.  Or so I am telling myself as I [...]

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First Day of School (Infant Remix)

June 15, 2009

Here is how not to get ready for your baby girl’s first day of daycare:
First, while it might seem like a good idea at the time, I do not recommend spending the previous week visiting your mother-in-law in St. Louis, having a lovely time, receiving lots of help with child care, and generally forgetting why [...]

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What Happened to My Yoga Practice?: Lamentations of a Postpartum Mom

May 22, 2009

I was initially kind of excited when I sat down to breakfast this morning and discovered an article in the New York Times Style section about a yoga class I attended a few times.
It felt like a brush with celebrity, an acknowledgment of a past life maybe not steeped in but occasionally brushing up against [...]

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Be Careful What You Wish For … and then Wish Away

May 19, 2009

I don’t suppose I blame the other parents for laughing at me, even though I resented it deeply at the time.
Shouldn’t the sight of a woman holding a screaming infant to her shoulder as a two-and-a-half-year-old clings to her leg crying, “Mommy!  MOOOOOOOMMMMMMYYYYY!” invoke sympathy — nay, even empathy, considering the limited reasons any adult [...]

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Photographs and Memories. And Babies.

May 5, 2009

Friday night, after a lovely family evening eating pizza at an outdoor table overlooking a local parking lot, I relaxed on the couch and looked through old pictures of Jake when he was Lily’s age.
That was my first mistake.

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Is There Such a Thing as a Full Circle and What Does It Look Like?

May 1, 2009

I hung up the phone yesterday thinking I had come full circle.
We hadn’t spoken in nearly twenty years, and I wonder how long it’s been since I’ve heard the laugh that brought me right back in a joyful slide to the summer I turned seventeen.  That laugh, I now remember, made me feel like I’d [...]

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Everything Bad for Me Is Good Again (or at Least a Few Things)

April 27, 2009

There are a few things that feel unshakably bad for me:  Voluntarily being outside in the snow.  Spending my work weeks in an office building (and, even worse, a suit).  Wearing my pajamas all day.  Watching television in the middle of a beautiful afternoon.  And eating chocolate.*
* I understand that I have just alienated 90% [...]

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Alice in Motherland, or Just How Hard It Is

April 14, 2009

Yesterday afternoon, I was like the Cheshire Cat, grinning and purring contentedly about how smoothly the first four weeks of Lily’s life have slid by.
Yesterday evening, I was Alice herself, “shedding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool all round her, about four inches deep, and reaching half down the hall.”  Unlike Alice, [...]

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My Refuge

April 6, 2009

On Friday afternoon, I was lucky enough to be invited to the dedication of a lovely meditation space in downtown Asheville, the WriteMind Institute.  And even more lucky to have a mother-in-law in town and an infant feeding schedule that allowed me to attend.
It felt pretty darned great to take a shower, put on real [...]

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It’s a Girl! and Thoughts on the Known, the Unknown, and the Unknowable

March 19, 2009

Jake’s little sister arrived on Friday, proving that Friday the 13th isn’t so very unlucky after all.  Unless, that is, you find it the least bit unlucky to have only 3 hours of labor to produce a nine-and-a-half-pound baby.  I prefer to use the word “intense.”
A good word, as well, to describe the feeling of [...]

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My First Purim Carnival! (and Jake’s too)

March 10, 2009

It is, perhaps, the most remarkable change that motherhood has wrought:  I looked forward to the Purim Carnival for weeks before it was upon us.
This is remarkable because — although this was my first Purim Carnival — it was certainly not my first opportunity to attend one.
Purim — for those who have not had and/or [...]

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Of Big Boy Beds and Co-Sleepers

March 9, 2009

I’d like to think our ability to get the co-sleeper assembled (albeit standing on its side in a corner of our bedroom until needed) somewhat balances out my cavalier attitude toward having Mike drive two and a half hours to Charlotte to visit IKEA on Thursday night — three days before my due date.
To be [...]

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A Brief Return to a Past Life, or How (Really) Did I Get Here?

March 6, 2009

A couple of weeks ago, Mike handed me a book that had come free to his workplace.
“I doubt it’ll be very good,” he said, “but it’s a memoir about going to Columbia Law School.  I thought you might be interested.”
Maybe it’s the buddha-like peace that has descended on me as I prepare to give birth.  [...]

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