Monthly Archive for October, 2008

“Read My Lips . . .” Oh, Wait, You’re Still Learning to Talk

There are few things worse than having “The Heart of Rock and Roll” stuck in your head at two o’clock in the morning.

Except possibly having this catchy ’80’s ditty replay itself over and over as your child reaches out across the pillow you have erected as a barrier between your bodies because you refuse to cuddle him as he has been repeatedly requesting for the past hour.

It’s the same old story I’ve told before.  All seems to be going smoothly with Jake’s ability to sleep through the night in his own bed.  Then we go away somewhere — in this case my sister-in-law’s house in West Virginia — and he gets to sleep with us — in this case on a twin futon pushed up against our queen futon, so I could reach over with a reassuring hand every time he cried out in his sleep.  His first night at home he sleeps right through and I think all is well.  And then.

The crying at one a.m..

When it started, I stumbled to his crib and he grabbed at me in that way that precipitates the full-body cuddle of a half-asleep boy that I love, love, love.  Except that I don’t love it quite as much when I know it will make it impossible for me to ever put him back in his crib.  Or when I have been roused from my own much-needed sleep to stand, shivering, in his room, squinting into the darkness.

“Does something hurt?” I asked him gently as I rubbed his back but kept his feet firmly on the crib mattress.

These are the new rules.  If something hurts — impending incisors cutting their way through tender gums, tummy churning from the rice with black beans on which he chowed so happily at dinner, an aching ear or head or feverish limbs — I pull him to me and sleep next to him all night, happy to provide succor when there is a good reason for it.  But if the middle-of-the-night demand is triggered only by the natural (but less than ideal) desire to displace Mike and sleep in bed with me, I must put my foot down.

It’s a tough call, but one with which I felt comfortable.  Until last night, when his only response to my queries, my desperate calls for him to tell me something, anything, was wrong so I could carry him back to bed and go to sleep without worrying about instilling any habits I will regret tomorrow night, was, “Come up.”

Apparently, all that was wrong was that he wanted me to hold him.

Which, in the light of day, seems like a worthy reason to ask to be held.  But, bladder bursting and feet bare on cold hardwood floors at one o’clock in the morning, this is not a request that merits my sympathy.  Instead, it elicited a quick and unsympathetic ride to the bathroom, where I plopped him on the floor wailing while I tended to my own needs and then a similar ride to and plop on the bed just abandoned by Mike.  Followed by the whimpering and cries of, “Mommy!” and attempts to breach the pillow barrier between us (designed to show that I had no choice but to put him in my bed but would not make it the pleasant experience for which he was hoping).

As I stuck to my non-cuddling guns — because you really can’t change your program in the middle of the night — and listened to the unwelcome refrains of Huey Lewis and the News, I had an unsettling thought.

What if something really was wrong — a bad dream or indigestion that didn’t register on his literal-minded scale of “Does something hurt?” or being too hot or too cold — that he couldn’t articulate?  I imagined him several years hence crying out from the full-sized bed I will wisely buy him so I can lie next to him and comfort him as he recounts his nightmare about the gorilla living in our laundry basket that pushes me out of the car and drives away.  (This is an especially vivid one that remains from my own childhood.  Believe me, it’s scary at the time.)

Why, I thought uneasily, will Jake get more sympathy precisely when he is more able to explain what it is he needs from me?

Continue reading ‘“Read My Lips . . .” Oh, Wait, You’re Still Learning to Talk’

Maternity Pants, Fatigue, and Never Look at Your Butt in Your Sister-in-Law’s Guest Room Mirror

Fatigue.

I’m not talking tired or exhausted or however I generally feel after carrying Jake up the stairs for the fifteenth time at the end of the day.  I am talking about bone-crushing, crying-because-I’m-so-tired, unable-to-think fatigue.  Have-your-thyroid-level-checked fatigue.

It is, perhaps, no coincidence that it hit me after an afternoon spent at a three-year-old’s birthday party last Sunday.

The party, actually, was exactly what I needed.  It was one of those beautiful fall days when the sun is so warm and the air so still that you turn your face to the sun and forget to wear sunblock.  Jake was ecstatic chasing around his three-year-old friend, I was nearly as pleased hanging out with her parents and other adults, and Jake’s surprise rendition of “Happy Birthday to You” all the way home was — appropriately enough — the icing on the cake.

The only speck on the surface of this idyllic Sunday afternoon, the ugly undercurrent I pretended to ignore, was this:  I was wearing maternity jeans.

I must interject here to point out that I put on those same jeans this morning and confirmed that they are, in fact, still so big on me that they slide down so that the ugly stretchy part at the top peeks out from under my shirt.  I am unable to explain why this fact thrills me when the alternative is to cling to my old army pants that I wore twice a week to breastfeeding clinic two years ago because they were the perfect postpartum size and that now sport a couple of holes near the waistband that I pray are not a sign that my only comfortable pants will shred into pieces after another wash or two.

But I’m being honest here.  And honesty dictates that, sadly, it is a point of pride with me to dig through my closet looking for the old, the too big, the stretched out clothes that still fit me so I can proudly proclaim I am not wearing maternity clothes.  Just looking sloppy and thick and why was it again that I don’t want to look pregnant instead of just fat?

But last Sunday I was feeling Mature.  I had experienced a few round ligament pains that literally took my breath away.  They felt sort of like a big, huge rubber band snapping somewhere in the vicinity of my uterus.  Which is an especially disconcerting feeling when you find yourself with a reason to think about your uterus and its location inside your body.

So I pulled a long shirt over the stretchy blue tummy thing and fancied myself camouflaged, my secret safe.

Until I met the other party guest who was just two weeks ahead of me in her pregnancy.

“It’s my first day in maternity clothes too,” she confided.

I assured her that she looked great.  Not just because I wanted her to tell me the same thing (she didn’t), but because I know how nice it is to have someone say such a thing to you when you are pregnant and because it was true.  In point of fact, she looked pretty much like I did.

But then we got into the fatigue thing.  “I’m a lot more tired this time,” she allowed without any prompting from me.  “But it’s because I’m thirty-nine.”

At this moment, I didn’t like her quite as much as I had been thinking I did.

Continue reading ‘Maternity Pants, Fatigue, and Never Look at Your Butt in Your Sister-in-Law’s Guest Room Mirror’

Travels with Toddler (Low Country Edition)

“Elmo!” Jake crowed the second he saw the portable DVD player set up in the back seat of the car.  Plainly, he was ready for a driving trip, as long as we had Elmo’s Big Outdoors at the ready.

As was I.  After a year of living in the mountains, I was craving some beach time the way the work-at-home mommy me sometimes still craves a particularly stylin’ and youthful outfit I spot on t.v. (because I don’t go out anywhere that I might see stylish outfits on an actual person).  I know I will live if I don’t make it to the beach (or wear that outfit), but my soul cries out that I am slowly crushing it into a dessicated shell of its former self by not fulfilling this aching need.  The former self that presumably lived on the beach and wore great clothes, though I can’t recall any time in my life when I did either with any consistency.

But with the warm days waning, I grabbed my last chance for a lovely long weekend beach idyll with a trip to Hotwire and a score on a great deal at what was advertised as a four-star Marriott in Hilton Head.

That four-star rating was seriously called into question late Friday night when we arrived after a five-hour drive and I carried a pajama-clad, groggy Jake to our room only to find the door propped open.

I shrugged and entered anyhow, shivering a little at the deserted feel of a corner of the ninth floor at midnight.

Then I turned to shut the door and, hmm, it didn’t close.  Didn’t even fit in the doorjamb, in fact.  I am not sure how this can happen to a hotel room door without anyone noticing, but the nice thing about a hotel — or any other building you don’t own, for that matter — is that you don’t have to care.  It’s someone else’s problem.

“Would you like us to send someone up to fix it?” the pleasant-enough clerk asked, when I finally made my way to the front of a rowdy line of hotel guests with other issues to take up at Reception.

“No,” I said somewhat less pleasantly.  “I would like you to give me a room with a door that closes and send someone to fix the other one when I’m not in it.”

We ended up in a lovely room with a working door on the fifth floor.  We didn’t expect a beach view at Hotwire rates, so we were quite happy with our little balcony overlooking the parking lot.  Even though the view that morning — all weekend, in fact — was of clouds and rain.

What had happened to my weekend of soaking up beach, beach, beach?  The ghostly spectre of the Me waiting to stretch out on the lounge chair with a lot of sunshine and a good book hovered in the background, howling with disappointment.

Continue reading ‘Travels with Toddler (Low Country Edition)’

Yom Kippur, Spirituality, and a Pair of Black Chuck Taylor Low-Tops

It occurred to me, as Jake ate his lunch at Green Sage today, that having your child drop pieces of pork sausage in your lap may not be the most appropriate way to honor Yom Kippur.

Normally, I would spend this day fasting, meditating, reflecting.  Not, I must explain, in any kind of religious service.  I tried it once and it didn’t bring to me the same meaning that I took from the holiday — searching for ways to be a better person, to avoid repeating any mistakes I may have made over the past year, and to remind myself of the things that are important in life.  Instead, I have started spending the day alone, at home, writing and thinking and just being.

But pregnancy interferes with fasting and a toddler off from preschool for the day interferes with meditation and reflection.  I did, Mike reminded me this morning, have both the option and the excuse to bring Jake to the house of one of his teachers instead of watching him myself.  He visited her last week when school was closed for Rosh Hashanah and had an awesome time, or so he tells me.

But somehow, today, even though I couldn’t have my usual Yom Kippur of introspection and calm, it didn’t seem right to have someone else care for Jake.

And so, uncertain of why I wasn’t taking the easy way out by sending him to someone else’s house for the day, grumpy that his nighttime cough had triumphed over my attempts to get him out of my bed and back into his last night, I resolved to find fun, meaningful things to do with my child.

Like, first on the agenda, going to the kids’ gym downtown that we have heard about but never before visited.

We arrived 15 minutes into the one-hour session for Jake’s age group, greatly delayed by my inability to find any clothes that fit my not-my-usual-size-but-not-maternity-clothes-sized body.  Worse than having to wear pants that are two sizes too big (and therefore add extra room where I don’t need it), however, was choosing the shoes to match.

You’d think it would be a simple matter, pulling on a pair of shoes.  But once the days of flip flops pass, I find myself stymied.  Tennis shoes or clogs?  Socks or bare feet?  What on earth matches too-big black jeans with skinny legs?

Not, I concluded, the shoes I was wearing when Jake and I dashed into the gym at 10:15.

Happily, we had to remove our shoes when we got there, so I could concentrate instead on those first moments of utter terror Jake experienced.  He clung to my arm as if molded there by plaster of paris before I could coax him to take a walk, hand in mine.  Slowly, he ventured onto the trampoline sunken into the floor.  And declared that he liked it very much.

This declaration consisted of saying, “Dat, dat,” until I identified this wonderful new phenomenon as, “Trampoline.”

“Trampoline,” he said approvingly before running across it again.

Forty minutes later, when the session ended, Jake was quite loathe to leave the gym, and probably my promise that he was going shoe shopping with me didn’t help much.  But I was back in my hated, ill-matching shoes, and I have long harbored an interest in owning a pair of black Chuck Taylor low-tops.  I never quite thought I could pull it off, but today, when I should have been reflecting on the important things in life, all I came up with were those Chuck Taylors.

Off we headed, to Discount Shoes, the only place in town I knew I could count on finding them.  Miraculously — or perhaps portentously — we went directly to the correct aisle.  Jake picked up a hot pink pair for me, but I told him only black would do.  I searched for my size.  And searched. And searched.

How could there be no size 7 1/2 black Chuck Taylor low-tops?!  Was there a god somewhere trying to tell me something?

Jake and I ran (in his case) and strode (in mine) the aisles looking for a suitable substitute.  But I’ve waited years for this moment.  Nothing else would do.

So we returned to the Chucks.  Maybe they ran big, I thought, without much hope.  I tried on a pair half a size smaller than I normally wear.  And — angels singing and clouds parting — they fit perfectly.

Certain that buying shoes on Yom Kippur was just the right thing to do after all, I scooped them and Jake up and ran to the check out.

Whereupon I was informed that they don’t take American Express.

Like a thwarted consumer in a bad commercial, I sadly informed the cashier that I am between Visa cards — my last one having slipped out of my pocket and onto the street last Monday, where it was picked up by a kind soul who called the bank and left a number where I could reach him.  But, as much goodness as there is in the world, can you really with total security not change your account when a stranger has been holding onto your card for more than enough time to, oh, jot down the number?

Hence, I have no Visa for a few days, and no black Chuck Taylor low-tops.

Continue reading ‘Yom Kippur, Spirituality, and a Pair of Black Chuck Taylor Low-Tops’

Let the Comparisons Begin, or How Much Control Do I Really Have?

We had our anatomy-screen ultrasound last week, and, inevitably, the comparisons began.

“This is an active one,” the technician commented, as she tried, unsuccessfully, to snap a picture of the wiggling baby’s heart before it shifted out of view again.

I told her about the time Jake wouldn’t wake up for his ultrasound.  And about how everyone in my breastfeeding group used to refer to him as “Zen Jake” because of his propensity for staring wide-eyed at the screaming infants around him as he calmly digested his meals.

“Well, this one sure is going to be different,” the tech promised.

It’s true, of course.  This baby is going to be different from Jake, a fact that I simultaneously accept with ease and can not for the life of me imagine.  How is it possible to think of having a baby who isn’t just like Jake was?  He’s my only reference point.

Still, I looked hopefully at the baby’s yoga-fied position — head down, butt in the air, legs stretched overhead so as to gain some purchase by pressing its feet against a convenient fold in my uterus — a lovely halasana (plow pose), really.  Surely, I prayed, if this one was already displaying such a love of yoga, it would be Zen-like as well.  After all, it was all that yoga I practiced while I was pregnant that did it for Jake, wasn’t it?

Which, ultimately, was really the focal point of my thoughts:  What did I do to make Jake so wonderful?  Am I doing the same things for this baby?  And, by the way, aren’t there a few things I might want to do differently?

Take, for example, the other evening, when I glanced down from chopping tomatoes in the kitchen to find Jake quietly working at poking a second hole in the valve to one of his sippy cups.  With a paring knife.

Not a good Mommy moment.

Or just yesterday, as we drove home from his friend’s birthday party and I noticed a special urgency to his “All done!” offering of the apple juice.  I glanced back to find him leaning way too far forward, cup outstretched in stiff little arms, and realized, to my horror, that I had neglected to buckle him into his car seat.

This is not the first time I have managed to forget about the buckling-in part.  When Jake was four months old, I drove him all the way home from the pediatrician’s office unbuckled; when we arrived, unbelievably unscathed, he was lurching sideways with a look of deep puzzlement on his face.  I swore that it would never happen again.  But,see, it did.

And so the real comparisons arise.  Will I continue to do so much wrong?  And will I be a good enough mother to get so much right the second time?

Continue reading ‘Let the Comparisons Begin, or How Much Control Do I Really Have?’

Have I Run Out of Gas?

It’s been a good ten days since my last post.  Ten days of paid work and school holidays and all the other stuff that happens when you have a toddler and can’t even manage to find the time to call your sister back when she leaves you a nice message saying she’s considering volunteering to do some poll watching in North Carolina so she can visit you.

Could it be that I’ve just run out of gas?  That I have finally hit the point where being the mother of a toddler preparing for a second run of maternity leave means I don’t have the time to indulge in the things that give me a sense of self and purpose?

Nope.  Nothing like that.  Just busy.

But I am out of gas of another kind, and I wrote about it here: Gas Shortage on the Ground.

Just in case you have tons more time than I do and wanted to — I don’t know — read about the gas shortage in Asheville.  Because who wouldn’t?




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