Monthly Archive for July, 2008

Forget My Mind — I Lost My Cell Phone

Actually, “lost” is mother-of-a-toddler code for, “I left my cell phone in the pocket of the shorts I wore to the pool with Jake and ran it through the washing machine.” Raz-r phones, I probably don’t have to tell you, do not like being run through the washing machine.

When Mike first announced that he had found my cell phone resting amidst the tangle of damp clothes waiting to be transferred to the dryer, I had a brief, flickering hope that all would be fine. I admit, shamefully, that this was not the first experience one of my cell phones has had with water. My former, L.A. Raz-r phone once slid neatly out of the back pocket where I had tucked it and into the toilet one unfortunate morning last spring. In an amazing stroke of luck that happens only once in a lifetime, when I called the cell phone company to report my “broken” cell phone, the dot under the battery that tells them when someone has dropped her phone in the toilet had not turned a tell-tale red, so I got a brand new replacement phone free of charge. Audrey, our bloodhound mix, chewed it up the next day, but that’s another story.

As I said, such strokes of luck rarely occur twice (even when arguably neutralized by a hound dog with bad chewing habits). This time, the dot was a bright, accusing, you-put-me-through-the-washing-machine red.

You’d think I would have sprung into action replacing my cell phone. But I felt unaccountably relaxed about the whole project. The only person who ever calls me on it is Mike, it seems, and while I do love touching base with him during the day he managed to catch me on the land line frequently enough to allow the week to start dwindling without my really questioning his decision to see if the phone might come back to life after a week, as a friend of his claimed his had.

By the time the weekend arrived with no real action taken, I missed a message from the mother of Jake’s first girlfriend in Long Beach and began to feel a bit remote. And sad that I didn’t have her number written down somewhere so I could call her back the old fashioned way. But, after all, the only time I had for returning calls was when I was walking Jake somewhere in the stroller or driving to Earth Fare for groceries, so, absent my cell phone, I couldn’t very well return it anyhow. Since Mike and I were having our very first non-relatives-over-for-dinner social event Saturday night, I was willing to let the weekend pass without making that crucial contact with someone other than my husband who knows me better than is possible from a few casual conversations on the sidewalk in front of the house.

It wasn’t until Monday, when I was caught between waiting at home for the return business phone calls I was expecting or getting out of the house to run crucial errands, that I began to wobble. How, I fumed, am I supposed to carry on with my life when I’m stuck at home waiting for the phone to ring?

Never mind that we used to do it all the time. The world has changed, and so has my ability to wait a little bit longer for the information I need. Finally, at the end of an otherwise admirable week of almost carefree cell phone-less-ness, the loss of something as un-yoga-like as a cell phone was making me lose my mind.

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The Moment Jake Went Down the Slide by Himself

Jake and I decided to go to the park after school on Tuesday. Usually we go home and play with the hounds or draw with chalk on the sidewalk or fast forward through Sesame Street on TiVo until we find good songs about dogs or the beach. But on Tuesday the weather was lovely and I had a rare surge of energy powerful enough to shake me out of the usual pattern.

“Do you want to go to the park?” I asked Jake when I picked him up from school, feeling no small bit of satisfaction that his teachers knew I was doing something other than taking him home to watch Sesame Street.

“Pahk.” Jake nodded approvingly as he headed for his stroller.

It still wasn’t guaranteed we’d make it to the park. After all, I knew that part-way there, as we neared the turn-off for home, I could easily convince myself that Jake had forgotten all about my promise to go to the park, or, if not, would probably think he had misunderstood me and would be content with the sidewalk chalk.

I was therefore, more than a little bit amazed and excited to find myself steering the stroller straight instead of turning left to follow the route home.

The park is just a few blocks from our house, and yet it’s been weeks since we visited. Once upon a time, we took the hounds there every morning to let them chase tennis balls on the unused baseball field. Even into December, we bundled up, and I wrapped my arms around Jake, following the girls’ gambols with glee.

Then, I don’t know, it got too cold, and Jake got too interested in squirming out of my arms into the red mud of the infield, and Mike grew to enjoy savoring a cup of morning coffee on the floor of the living room while Jake sits in his lap with a book.

Of course, we took Jake there on weekends, especially in the spring as the weather picked up. But lately there have been so many rib fests and Coon Dog Days and farmers markets that we just haven’t needed the park. Plus, I too frequently found myself feeling a little bit lonely and isolated as the other parents reclined on benches and gossiped while I awkwardly climbed the climbing station and slid down the slide with Jake.

Don’t get me wrong. There is great joy to be had going down a children’s slide in your 40’s, especially (but not necessarily) with an excited toddler in your lap. But in an odd inversion of the adult-child relationship, my small child’s attention span for such activity far, far exceeds mine. It is exceeded, in fact, only by my desire to put off the tantrum that I fear will accompany my suggestion that we leave the park before he has been down the slide the proper number of times. Which is why we have spent so much time going down the slide together as to leave me rather wearied of the park.

But Jake is older now, so much older than four or five weeks ago. For example, when I took him out of his stroller when we arrived at the park on Wednesday, he grabbed my hand and said, “Walkh,” instead of making me carry him around the area intended for kids to run and tire themselves out so their parents have a hope of finally watching Recount which they TiVo’d from HBO a couple months ago and which has fallen all the way to the bottom of the “Now Playing” screen.

We spent some time on the swing and in the sandbox, and I could tell things were different. It was no longer a matter of Jake being mostly interested in watching how other kids play; he quite got it himself. But the big change came when we wandered over to the climbing structure.

Jake ran up to it and hauled himself up the big steps. He walked upright along the row of smaller steps, holding onto the rail next to him instead of the stair in front of him, as he’s forced to do by the frustrating, infantilizing stairs at home.

And then he sat himself down at the top of the slide, gave me a big grin, and slid down. As I stood at the bottom to catch him.

It was a perfect moment to be in the moment, a pinpoint of perfection between past and future.

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Why Practicing Yoga Is as Simple as Sleeping with a Sick Child

I’m assuming there are women checking out the YogaMamaMe community who don’t practice asanas, don’t know what the word means (it designates the physical poses you see people practicing on the cover of Yoga Journal when you’re waiting in the check-out line at Whole Foods), don’t intend ever to practice them, and yet are kind enough to join anyhow. To be honest, over the past several days, even I have begun to wonder if I’ll ever find the time for an asana practice again, and I am, after all the one person I ought to be able to count on to actually do the practices I write about here

(Guilty admission; I don’t always because by the time I’ve finished writing and posting I am already late to pick Jake up from school. See? You don’t need to practice yoga to gain comfort in sharing with others.)

Last night I was reminded that as mothers we all practice yoga all the time, whether we realize it or not. We all put aside our own discomfort to care for our children and in return we receive the joy that is motherhood.

Which, I thought as I slept with my restless, sick, hitting-me-in-the-face-and-then-asking-for-juice son, is very much what a yoga practice is about, even if we don’t use the asanas to remind us of it.

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Monday Mornings, Sleeping Late, and the Clash of the “Should Do’s”

Jake slept in this Monday morning. I did too, for a while. Until Mike told me it was eight o’clock and suddenly my eyes were wide open like a Bush voter who finds out for the first time that Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11. One minute I was dozing blissfully, the next I was jolted awake with the unpleasant aftertaste of guilt in my mouth.

I probably could have used the extra sleep just as much as Jake. More, in fact, since he spent the night awakening only when his coughing really hurt his throat whereas I was in some state of mental alertness for every single cough and snort of his stuffed up little nose.

But I, naturally, could not sleep past eight o’clock, even if I have spent many an early morning praying that Jake would go back to sleep until, oh 8:30 or 9:00. Because it’s Monday morning. And, let’s face it, even if Jake had ever answered one of those morning prayers, there’s no way I could have indulged in the luxury of sleeping in with him. There is, after all, always something you could be doing while the baby’s asleep.

Even on a morning like this one when, to be honest, there wasn’t much I had to be doing. I could, I assured myself, find something, just as soon as I dragged my lazy bones out of bed.

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MIA Part Three: Not Doubting Your Path

Sometimes there are good reasons you don’t have time to, say, write a YogaMamaMe post for two weeks. And I don’t mean “good” in the “eat your spinach, it’s good for you” sense of good. I mean good, like good for my soul, happy, fun.

I mean, to get to the point, Coon Dog Day.

Not just specifically Coon Dog Day, which didn’t happen until Saturday of the long July 4th weekend. I mean as well the uncharacteristic for us rush of parties and activities — a Thursday night party, Friday picnic, Friday night block party, Sunday ball game, and, yes, Saturday Coon Dog Day. It was a full, fun weekend, thrillingly free of any of those moments where you wonder how to entertain a toddler while sneaking just a few minutes reading the New York Times for, you know, sanity’s sake. Jake got to grow up in big ways, like splashing in the wading pools with the four-year-olds at the block party and noting with fascination — not in a consistent way, but still, he’s only 18 months old — the baseballs flying by our outfield seats. And Mike and I got to have fun, thoughtless, busy, not working fun.

But I did not write. I did not break the two-weeks-and-counting silence in the nascent YogaMamaMe world. Because I was too busy enjoying myself.

Which, naturally, has me a bit confused about my priorities.

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MIA Part Two: Learning Who You Are

So another reason I was missing in action for two weeks (even though, I say again to the empty echo-chamber of a deserted readership, I don’t think anyone really noticed): a visit to Louisville for my grandfather’s funeral.

Sad as this sounds — and much as the past couple of posts might, um, bring the mood down a bit — I feel that this was, in a pure, unselfish way, a happy thing. He lived nearly 95 years in comfort and amazingly good health. He left the world in his sleep, at home, in his own bed, surrounded by people who loved him. If you accept — as we all must in our own way — that this life will end at some point, you’ve got to be happy for someone who has it end the way it did for my grandfather.

Plus, I have been blessed with a gain to equal the loss — new information about my grandfather, things I never knew and am proud to know now. And this information, in turn, tells me things that — incredibly, gloriously, awe-inspiringly — tell me more about myself.

It has been, overall, a wonderful reminder that, even at 41 years old, even with all I’ve learned (some of it the hard way) over the past 18 months of having a child, I sure don’t know everything there is to know about me.

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